So. Much. Change.

So our house sold (PRAISE JESUS) and we have been living with my parents for the last 2 weeks while my husband finishes up his job here.

Movers came and PACKED our stuff and moved it to our new home in Mississippi…two weeks ago….so its sitting there, waiting on us….

We have 3 full days left here. Tonight we said the first of our “goodbyes.” This may be harder than I thought. Its funny, the goodbyes are not something I thought about at the start of this journey- I was mainly looking ahead. However, I guess now is the time to look behind. To savor the memories and to hold each of friends close to our hearts. 

This is such a time of change for me on. So. Many. Levels. We have a new baby, we sold our house here where we brought both of those babies home, we are living with mom and dad for these past two weeks, my parents sold and moved out of the house I grew up in, my brother got into med school, and now I am moving to a new state, hours away from home. OH MY WORD.  How do I keep the world from spinning?? 

OH and to top it off my two year old and I have both been sick the last few days, while staying in the house I grew up in, on blow up mattresses, without any furniture…..so that helps me get excited about completing this move and settling into our new home. 

Home. Man. Our new home. In Mississippi. Forgive me yall- im just trying to wrap my mind around all of this. Whoa This is big yall. Im reminded of this quote I saw on instagram a few months ago (thanks Jaime!) 

            “Trusting God’s plan is 

            THE ONLY SECRET I KNOW 

            in the gentle art of 

NOT FREAKING OUT.”

Ummm YES. 

So really, that’s all I have for you today. Just some-what of an update. There really is so much to look forward to at the moment but OH. MY. WORD. SO MUCH CHANGE IN THE MEAN TIME!!!! 

 -Kate

Update

Okay, so this thing is getting real now. We put the sign in the yard today. We close on our new house this week- it’s a multi-day process when you close from afar apparently. We have people coming to look at our home on Saturday. People. In OUR home, the home that may be theirs one day soon. Its bizarre. I cant tell you how many times I have thought to myself…. This time last year- the idea of moving was NOT EVEN ON MY RADAR. I had no idea last Summer would be my last Summer in this house…or in Arkansas for awhile…maybe even forever. I don’t know. Shoot. If I didn’t see this coming a year in advance…who am I to know where we will be for the rest of our days on this green Earth? Only place I can tell you I will for sure spend my time is in eternity with my Heavenly Father. Amen. 

            Speaking of my Heavenly Father, He has been speaking into my heart over and over again the last few weeks. Praise Him. Though I am in a rainy season with the Lord- feeling His presence when I meet with Him in the mornings, jumping off the pages of His word- every time I hear from Him it is like rain falling on dry thirsty ground. I want more of it. It is a thirst that can never be quenched. One small taste of Jesus and suddenly I’m more parched than I’ve ever been in my life. I. WANT. MORE. OF. HIM.

            Two weekends ago we went back to Mississippi for a final look at our new home before we close on it. This home is everything we are looking for- and I am so thankful for it! It seems God has handpicked this house out especially for us! More details on all that in a future post… but since we’ve come back I have had a couple of emotional moments (okay days, but whatever) when the reality just sort of hits me. That we are moving from all I have ever known…leaving my family, our friends, all things familiar and regular and normal and I just want to curl up and hide under the covers (and maybe quite possibly take a nap…but we all know that aint happenin’- cue sweet-and-fussy babies in the background).  And since you brought them up, ARE WE CRAZY for moving while we have babieSSSSSS??? I think many of you reading this may be mentally and/or physically be shaking your heads “YES!” But the verse “the wisdom of the world is foolishness in God’s sight” (1 Cor. 3: 19) runs through my head because “As the heavens are higher than the earth so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:9).

            I also think about Habakkuk 1:5 with all of this—the part about God telling us to sit back and watch Him do something utterly amazing that we would not of believed even if we were told about it beforehand…. Because every. Single. Time. that inner panic begins to rise up in me, using fear like a vise I start inwardly begging God to go with us to Mississippi and hold my hand every step of the way. And Every. Time. God whispers back to me…. “Not only will I go with you but I have already gone BEFORE you. I have made your way through the wilderness.”  OH. SNAP. God- You don’t just got this thing- You straight up created it. It was part of our story ALL ALONG. You knew it was coming. YOU WROTE IT IN THERE. This part here, this part about M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I, and now suddenly, everything I was just panicking over dissipates. My perspective shifts. He is bringing us there. He wants us there.  And if that’s so, if I really believe Him, then there is no place I want to be more than right there, in Mississippi. Lets do this. 

-Kate 

Mississippi on My Mind

Well, we're going on an adventure. -I have this nagging feeling I have glamorized and romanticized it WAY more than its going to be, but heres hoping reality and my perception of reality can meet somewhere in the middle....
We are moving to Mississippi. M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I.    -I actually learned to spell Mississippi long before I could spell Arkansas growing up. I blame it on the rhymes "crooked letter, crooked letter, i...."
Anyways. I honestly NEVER thought I would write those words. Dont get me wrong- I know Im about to find out just how awesome of a state Mississippi actually is... I just never thought about living there. It was always just one those states we had to pass through to get to the beach...like Alabama. (and whos to say we wont ever live there one day at this point?!- never thought about that either...) But after marrying a man from Louisiana- I figured if we were headed anywhere...it was there at some point....and we still could one day...but okay, let me stop here. Im getting ahead of myself.

If y'all cant tell, Im just needing some place to hash out all my thoughts. I figure no one wants to hear me talk about moving to Mississippi ALL. THE. TIME. ( and let me tell you- I think about it that often.) Its always there, in the back of my mind. Always on the brain. I kid you not. But a girl needs a little grace on that one....its a big life change we are about to make- with two kids. Scratch that, two BABIES. Away from all family. Away from all our friends that we know. And for me, away from everything I've every known. Ever.

I've lived in LR MY WHOLE LIFE. I was even that girl that came home EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND in college. Literally, every weekend. I missed home. I wasnt cut out for the dorm life. Yuck. Plus the party scene wasnt for me- never has been. So there was no reason to stay. Sure, I had friends, but none beat my closest friends from high school (none still do- can I get an Amen?! Love yall!!- which also makes this move all the harder...) I also tried the sorority thing for awhile...turns out its pretty similar to the party scene....and y'all, I am just not that girl.

Moving on....(pun intended).... where was I? Oh yes. L R= my life. Funny thing is, I've always wanted to "get out" of LR. And here I was the one that never seemed to leave. Who always kept coming back. My friends- who never wanted to leave LR,  ALL LEFT (at one point or another) and moved out of state....some to places that actually get more snow than us....and I LOVE SNOW...and they didnt. why was life so unfair?! ;) Now I see that "God works everything for the good of His people and for those called by Him to do good works for Him" (Romans 8 something?!) I was supposed to be here the whole time. MY MAN was here. I just didnt know it. He was in his residency at the hospital that my mom has worked at my whole life. Who knew?! We met at church. haha.

When we got married we knew that at some point we would move away because my man had just finished residency and while he was interested in staying at the same hospital for awhile after we got married-he knew that at some point he would want to try practicing medicine somewhere else for awhile- which was fine with me. I was marrying THE MAN OF MY DREAMS. (Seriously. Only God could of written our love story!) He had worked for years and years to fulfill his dream and finally was done with school. Its only right that he practice medicine where he wants to! After all that- you gotta do what you love and love what you do!
We got married a year after I graduated from college, you do the age gap math. He HATES when I point it out.  ;*  But I wasnt attached to a career - and in fact I became a stay at home wife our first year of marriage. He is too nice to me. The point though is that- I didnt have any reason to stay in Little Rock myself. Inscribed in his wedding ring is Ruth (something) " where you go, I will go and where you stay, I will stay. Your God will be my God and your people, my people."   Again, the point was/is, I was going with him wherever, whenever....I only had one request....once we decided to stay in LR for the time being....(and seeing as we had an age gap and we were ready for babies)....Could we wait to move AFTER we were done having babies?? Seems easy enough. But God says "In his heart a man plans his course, but HE determines his steps" Proverbs 16 something (this verse was actually written on my man's groom cake HA!)

***IF YOU HAVENT PICKED UP ON THIS....WE LOVE JESUS. He died for my sins- for all my mess ups, and has given me the ULTIMATE do-over. Complete forgiveness and forever spent with Him in Heaven! Thankyou Jesus for saving me from myself and setting me on Your path of righteousness! AMEN.

So we went on with our merry/marry little life. Got a dog. (ugh, my bad). Had our precious 1st son! Which again, God had us RIGHT where He wanted us. His birth was BAD. VERRY VERY BAD. But praise the LORD for healing him and having him born at hospital that had him intubated almost immediately. I mean. Praise JESUS. (And now he is 100% healthy with absolutely no complications and is doing perfect!-and by perfect I mean in the terrible twos, yes. he is QUITE perfect :) ) and so we settled into life with our first born. But you see, we're gluttons for punishment. We want our kids "close together" sooooo a month after our boy turned one we found out- we were pregnant again! YAY! surprise baby! (our first was quite calculated haha). And here we are. As I type this, our sweet second son is asleep in my lap. He is 1 month old yall and cute as can be!
So, as it stands. we will be moving to Missisissippi this Summer with a two year old and a 6 month old. Both boys. We like to make life interesting. 

But again let me back it up to October. We really started feeling like it was time for a change with my man's current position at the hospital. The hours were too much- and his time was divided between medicine and education...which isnt quite what he set out wanting to do...and was finding that medical education wasnt quite what he still wanted to do anymore. Plus with now two babies (one on the way at that time) he wasnt getting to see/be with his family much at all. He wanted to see us more, and I needed to see him more. So we we began to pray. HARD. For God to lead my man in the next step with his job. Stay? Go? Can he stay and change up his job? If we go - go where?! Can we be close? How close is close? Should we just pack up and move across the country? I mean if you're going to go- go big, right?! Ha. dont answer that. Point is: we were open to WHATEVER God wanted, WHEREVER He wanted (from my past experience, even though it was hard to say to God- whatever You want, whatever You think is best- even if it means packing us up from everything I've ever known---God's way is ALWAYS better than mine. Even if I dont understand His way at the time).... but okay, I'll be honest- there were a few job opportunities that I put my foot down/begged and pleaded NO LORD, PLEASE NOT THERE!!!!!
And it was actually during one of those times/ moments that this job in Mississippi came up and in my prayer time...I said "Lord, if it's your will, I would rather go to Mississippi over *****- but please not ***** anywhere but there!!!"..... and felt God say, even then, in that moment- after I had JUST learned about this opportunity in Mississippi , and didnt know hardly ANYTHING about it....I felt Him say, "you'll be heading to Mississippi. This is the one I picked." And I thought "...hmmm, better keep this to myself because what if we go down there and I hate it?! I cant take back something I said I heard from God...so mums the word for now. Lord if you want us there- please show me, no, really CONVINCE me that we are supposed to be there. Make it blatant to me Lord!" Mississippi hadnt even been on our radar! But it sure was better than ****.  And the next thing I knew? We were headed for an interview there...literally, the next week. WHAT?! Side note: We did have our preferences at the beginning of his job search, as to where we would like to be, etc etc. However, God kept closing those doors. What I thought would be the easiest, well we'll just go here and do this. Kept turning up empty. We asked God to open and shut doors and He did. We werent meant to stay here or go there. All along, we were meant to head to Mississippi.
Often I say that God rarely works in haste....as I have seen in my experience. He is not on our time, we are on HIS. But this? This was pretty hasty. I felt like I was watching everything happen from the sidelines...like oooh what game plan will God do next?! Lets watch and find out! I mean we had barely told our families / friends much of what was going on...we didnt want to be swayed by anyone...which no doubt we would- loved ones have that affect on you! :) But needless to say, we went down there, and literally, we were blown away. We actually didnt get to talk to each other like the whole day, even though we were side by side all day long. I remember getting in the car that night to head back home and just sitting in the silence (we had done ALOT of talking with people that day...just not with each other). I know that both of our heads were just swimming. Mine was mush. And we just began hashing out everything about the place, and I mean picking it apart- the nitty gritty. And somehow it kept passing each "test". Every answer was basically, the right answer. We decided nothing that night- and wanted to sleep on things, give it a few days. I felt like Mary- pondering everything in my heart that night.

The next morning I woke up and the thing I reflected on the most from going over there? The people. They felt like a little family. Really. Truly. I kind of missed talking to everyone. Was that weird? I just met them. But its like I didnt want our conversations to end! I wanted to know more! I wanted to know them more! I thought- this is crazy. I think my man was sold from the time we got in the car that night, but for me, it came the next morning, when I woke up and wanted to go back.

And here we are. Sweet 2nd baby born at the end of that month (about a whole month early, whew, but he is HEALTHY- Praise Jesus!) and the contract is signed. Our next steps? Buying a house there and selling this one....with two babies. Why is it that everything is so complex with babies?! Did I mention that we want more than two? Oh yes. we are not done. however that looks...Lord willing, there will be more. So that request I made of my man? Again, " a man can plan his way... but it is the who Lord determines his steps."--and I'm okay with that.  :)

*So I started this blog.... why again? Because I cant get Mississippi off my mind. Plus, I work through things so much better if I can write my crazy scattered thoughts all out. So this is my outlet.
Rest assured no other posts will be this long. Aint nobody got time for that. Especially not me- with two babies. (there I go again). I do plan to post again a time or two before we actually move though, just because I know I'll have more going on in my head between now and then- i mean surely I will...the move is like 5 months away haha. no promises though. I have always been a frustrating blogger because I dont blog until I really feel like I have something I need to say. Apparently though, I feel like I have alot I need to say right now- and I need to say it all or I'll burst. So do forgive me if I spew a few words here and there. It happens.